you drive me quackers!

So, yesterday night my brother came home and he brought a duck home. It's so cute, and he named it Alexander. My dad likes it but he knows its ganna go to the bathroom everywhere. I wonder what my mom will think of it. It makes me wonder because she's always said "No more animals inside the house." But she always makes up stupid rules like this. Everyone in the house has rules except her. It seems like everyone always has one parent like that. Her rule for herself was no more drinking in the house. She broke that rule 1 week later without punishment. Words can't discribe how strongly I hate of her. Anyways, Alexander is so cute! He follows my brother around in a line and all night long he goes churp churp churp! He's so fuzzy and soft. I know Troy won't take care of it when he's older and ugly. But he fits in your hand! I just hope my parents won't make him get rid of that cause I know that would hurt him. He has a cat, too. But he never takes care of him so why would he ever take care of a duck?!!? It's all cute and cuddly at first. So, I feel bad for it. Not only that Troy will neglect the cat even more because a cat and a baby duck don't mix. Well, I love Alexander <3

Broken Hearts, Broken Things

My boyfriend, Matthew, and I have been going through some rough patches in our relationship. This weekend I made a comment about his dead sister that I am glad died... He told me that it wasn't nice to say that about her and I told him I really don't care. He accused me of not caring for his feelings and that I don't care about him. That wasn't true. I again replyed I don't care. We had a misunderstandment. I ment I didn't care about his feelings twords his sister. We fought all day, and all night, and all the next day eventually breaking up. I kept calling him to harass him because I felt hurt that he would choose his sister over me. I mean who does he want to spend his life with? His dead sister or his lover? He still choose her. He always has and he says he trys to be here for me. I believe that he does but that doesn't mean anything to me if he does or not. Either way he still isn't there for me. After he sent me a picture text saying I was "playing games with his heart" I decided to stop calling him. Then he called me and he was playing x-box live talking to his friend. I accused him of talking about me and he said no. Just to prove it he let me talk to his friend and so he could tell me they wern't talking about me. Instead, his friend said some pretty mean and hurtful things about me that no one can ever take back. I was happier that his sister died more than ever then. I fell asleep crying because I was so hurt by him. He called me and harrased me now telling me how he loves me and wants me back but he never apolgized for taking the sister thing too far. After all, he told me some of his secrets early in our relationship I could have went forever without hearing and he said that honesty is the best policy. Well he's learning its not. I thought this was all bull****. Three hours earlier he was telling me how he doesn't want me back. So after this constant fighting back and forth I was caught inbetween loving him and hating him. I guess I hated that I love him. I took a razor knife out and cut up everything he's given to me and I cried hysarically. I cut up the hoodie, tore all the notes he's wrote to me and his school pictures. I smashed a custom frame with his picture inside of it. I cut his hat up and I was getting ready to cut myself because nothing he could say or do could make me feel better. I hated him so so so much and he just kept trying to tell me we're not broken up it'll be okay. He still hadden't apolgized and I knew I wasn't giving in. That night we slept on the phone together after I finally calmed down but I still had feelings of hate inside of me. I wanted to kill myself and he made me want to do it. The next morning we resolved our problems. If he didn't bring up his sister I wasn't aloud to say anything mean about her. But if he did mention anything about her death, herself, her funeral, the funeral expenses, ect. I could say whatever I want about her to his face and he can't get mad. So we're still together for now. I hope we can keep working out or problems. I fixed most everything I distroyed including the hoodie I felt the worse about. Even through all that, we can be strong.